3 reasons we feel unhappy and how to build ourselves back up

We all experience feelings of unworthiness, self doubt, guilt and anxiety at certain points in our lives. Here are some of the common things which cause us unhappiness and some simple tools to help us re-frame our world.

Social media comparison

In our all consuming online world, it’s not surprising we’re feeling insecure and unworthy. Everywhere we look online we’re presented with glamorous photos of people living ‘their best lives’. Spending lots of time online unconsciously chips away at our self esteem as we compare our lives to the unrealistic and perfectly curated life snap shots of others.

What can we do?

We must take back control and unfollow anyone who makes us feel inadequate. We must ask ourselves the question - is this person bringing me joy? Be mindful about what and who you are exposing yourself to and how long you are getting lost within the social media black hole. Nothing in the world beats real life interaction so leave your phone at home for a while and re-enter your own world where all the true magic really lies.

Playing the ‘I should’ game

When we reach certain milestones in our lives we begin to worry about what we ‘should be doing’. ‘I should be earning more’, ‘I should have the job/partner/home of my dreams’ ‘I should have a family’ ‘I should be more successful’ the list goes on. By placing pressures on ourselves about where we should be and not taking a moment to notice all the beauty of things we have right now, we begin to wish our lives away and unconsciously make ourselves feel like we’re not good enough.

What can we do?

Start practicing gratitude. Every day list 5 things you’re grateful for and start noticing the things you have in your life already (no matter how small, it could be a delicious cup of coffee!) which you love and which you’re grateful for.

Feeling guilty

So many of us feel guilty. We feel we’re not good enough partners, mothers, fathers, friends and wives, husbands, brother’s, sisters. We suffer from imposter syndrome at work and feel no matter how we juggle the multiple things in our lives, we can never ever get on top of anything.

What can we do?

Give yourself a break. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. Practice affirmations to help re-wire our thought patterns. For 5 mins every morning or evening repeat positive phrases to yourself like ‘I love you, ‘I believe in you’, I’m proud of you’, ‘I have a thriving business’, ‘I’m doing the best I can’, ‘ I am loved’, ‘I am supported’, ‘I am confident and capable’. It may seem incredibly uncomfortable at first but after a little bit of time, it feels like a wonderful reassuring hug and it builds up your confidence day by day.

Being human can be really challenging and can make us feel isolated, overwhelmed and alone. All the ideas suggested earlier are things we need to practice; they might not come easy at first but these simple tools can be life changing if they are incorporated into our daily routines. Remember that we are all feeling the same feelings, no matter how it may look from the outside.

We hope this helps. We’d love to see you at the studio soon and give you a big hug.

Love Katy x


The Calm Team